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“If Only I Had More Time” – A Horrible Excuse!

July 15, 2013

Juggling an acting career and motherhood, Time is always on my mind. Whether it’s battling the clock and getting as much work done as possible while my 3-year-old naps (I dread the day when he no longer naps.)  Or constantly being surprised how long it takes to get a 3-year-old out the house and consequently running late all the time.

Pre baby – I often used to complain that I didn’t have enough time. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? I had oodles of time then, I was bathing in time then compared to now!!!

However Time is a funny thing….

Years ago, a bar I worked in closed unexpectedly and I collected unemployment for a few months before I found a new gig.  I was so excited about the idea as I’d have all this free time to focus on my acting career.  I was convinced it would create huge breakthroughs for me. However time expanded and I found myself just as busy without a job as I was with a job! I saw friends and went to the gym and without structure it took way more effort to get stuff done than before.  I got more done in an hour before heading to work than in an entire leisurely afternoon! Time was NOT the problem.

I need to remind myself of this lesson now!  I can get a LOT done when my son is asleep for his 1-2 hour nap.  It has taught me to focus and prioritize and I’m a lot less precious with things.  I don’t have time to obsess over emails and re-read them a thousand times, I just have to hit send and move on.  It is an opportunity to practice imperfection and not letting perfect be the enemy of the good!

the big leap

In his book The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks states that we often think of time as outside of us as if it is something we can’t control.  In contrast he encourages people to shift to what he calls Einstein time and the concept that You’re where time comes from. I’m what he calls a classic victim of time as I have a lifetime habit of complaining about time.

His example –

Your son comes in and says, “Please play ball with me.”

Your respond “Sorry, I don’t have time right now”

Next imagine instead that he comes in and says, “I’ve just cut my foot and there is blood everywhere.”

Of course NOW you will help him.  In those two examples you had exactly the same amount of time, the TRUTH was that you did NOT WANT to play ball but you WANT to take him to the hospital.

Gay Hendricks would advocate saying “I want to finish what I’m doing before we play ball” as opposed to using a lack of time as an excuse.

There are a lot of other thought-provoking ideas in The Big Leap, and if you have any issues with time I would highly recommend reading it.   In fact, I think I need a refresher and will re-read it again right now!

Talk soon,

The Mothering Actor Signature

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