Life is a Cabaret

It’s amazing how a new set of goals can renew a person’s sense of self and purpose. After audition season ends in New York City (which if you were here this year, you know was particularly grueling), I always take an unofficial break from the grind, hiding under a rock until I can look at myself in the mirror again. With all of my recent talk about waving the white flag, I woke up one day last week and decided to put my money where my mouth is: I decided to give my next best career choice a chance to be my first best career choice.

One thing I’ve been doing since I was 14 is choreographing for musical theatre. In some ways, it beats performing for me by a long shot. Most of them are logistic – no 4am wake-ups, no crowded holding rooms…a decent paycheck. Some of them, however, do go deeper. There’s something amazing about auditioning a group of dancers, and getting to watch a little piece of something I created performed for the first time by eager hopefuls. I get to pick and choose the people who are ultimately going to better my work by bringing their own unique talents and personalities to the table. Finally, I get to think up some crazy shit and try it out on young, flexible human guinea pigs who fear for their lives on a daily basis! Ok, kidding about that last one. Half kidding. Then, I get to sit in the audience on opening night with my family and friends and gaze at what I built come to life. I watch, and I think, “Wow. That came from my brain. I’m really good at this”. Perhaps that’s where choreographing trumps performing for me: I have never once truly doubted that I am skilled and capable.

So, I reached out to some old and new dance friends, and I am officially submitting a piece of my original choreography from the 2010 Hofstra University production of “Cabaret” to the Capezio A.C.E. Awards. It’s a huge competition, and if by some miracle I place in the finals, I’m going to pee myself. No. No! If I place, it will NOT be a miracle! It will be because I’m AWESOME! Man, that self-deprecation thing really hangs on tight, huh? Anyways, it sure feels good to wake up in the morning and have my first thought after “fhjhjsdg… swjqihyqrgrgghh… coffee… grmblehbsfrhv…” be “Hey! I get to work some more on this choreography today!” It’s been a long time since I felt that excited about acting. It’s not like I think I’ll never feel that way about it again, but every pursuit is a series of peaks and valleys. And sometimes, in the deepest of valleys, you find an unexpected peak.

Readers: Did any of you stumble across your dream job when you weren’t looking for it?

I’ll keep you all posted on my progress.

To finishing the puzzle!