Trying to be perfect
I had an audition. It didn’t go well.
How many times have we said this? Bombing an audition never feels good. Ever. After this particular audition, I continued my bad mood all the way back to the bus. I was pretty much mumbling and cursing the entire walk to the bus. (And for a half mile, I can fit in a lot of cursing. Still waiting for the audition where I can apply this skill.)
Anyway, I go home and start to journal exactly what happened. Audition journals are great. You can look up what monologues you did, what outfit you wore, and who was in the room (if you get their names). And then of course you can evaluate yourself so that you can improve next time. As I was looking through recent auditions, I started to think about different ones I’ve had since I arrived in Chicago. I started to feel better. I may not have nailed that audition, but the fact that I got one for this particular job is pretty freaking awesome. And for that, I am grateful.
For all you New Yorkers, there’s a fantastic man living in your area named Adam Gilbert. He runs mybodytutor.com. I listened in on a free teleseminar he did through The Savvy Actor back in April that changed me for the better. Now I eat healthier, I’m in the best shape of my life, and feel great mentally. Definitely check him out. Then follow him on twitter @mybodytutor. I’m also a huge fan of his emails. Often he’ll ask you to reply and give your thoughts. I replied to one of them and told him about a setback I had recently with my workouts. He replied back “Keep in mind: perfection isn’t the goal. That’s like chasing the wind. Progress is the goal!”
Specific Problems of Site-Specific Theatre
In the last two weeks, I’ve been getting ready to open my latest show – an adaptation of The Spoon River Anthology, to be set in a cemetery.
Yeah – in a dark, circa 1800’s cemetery on an autumn night. For a show like Spoon River, it is utterly ideal and a once in a lifetime experience. How often do you get to run, scream, dance over someone’s grave?
But outdoors theatre is not always ideal. During our show, we noticed some problems with performing in unusual spaces that wouldn’t have occurred in your basic proscenium theatre:
- Noise. The Greeks knew what they were doing when they built the amphitheater and when it came to sound. The cemetery swallowed up a lot of noise so even when we were projecting at the top of our diaphragms, the generators and instruments were still just as loud. And then there were those site-specific noises: while the church bells really added to the ambiance, the motorcycle gang roaring down the highway nearby didn’t help. Read more…
I’m all grown up (at last!)
I’ve had my first full week in my new house and 3 whole days on my new course at Rose Bruford College. And all of a sudden I feel quite grown up; I pay rent, I cook, I do my own washing, I do a weekly food shop. This isn’t a lot for some people but for me it’s huge as it means I’m finally growing independent and moving on with my life.
The first week at a UK university is called Fresher’s Week, which is basically full of evening events where you meet new people and drink, a lot in some cases. I’ve only attended a couple of events, mainly due to the fact I’m not a great drinking person and cause I’ve had a few days where I’ve felt ill, one of them due to too much wine! However I’ve still met some amazing people and am looking forward to the next 3 years in their company.
As well as drinking the first week, or half a week in my case, is full of introductory sessions where you meet your fellow course mates and get told a lot of boring stuff. We had a principle’s welcome (without the principle!) which was full of rules and guidelines, half of which are forgotten by now. This was followed by a ‘programme’ meeting which was led by our stage management tutors and included introductions, a tour and getting our timetable.
It’s Always Too Soon To Quit.
We all know this business can be brutal. It’s a love-hate relationship. I love creating thought-provoking art and making a character come to life. However, I don’t care for the “biz” end of showbiz. I can’t imagine my life without acting. It has been my passion since I was 3 years old.
Sometimes I just need to remind myself not to give up. They always say most people give up right before they strike gold!
Here are some inspirational quotes from actors who ALMOST gave up right before they “struck gold”, but luckily they didn’t! Note: These are only a few of the actors who almost quit. There are many others. Most artists have doubts at some point in their career.
“It was confusing. I got a lot of plaudits, and it didn’t translate into more work. Two years of not working was brutal. It was grim. I was very hurt. A point came where I thought- ‘I really like interior design’.” ~ Claire Danes
Photo Frenzy tip
This year, I’ve “done” a lot of red carpets. Not that anyone has cared….
A short film I star in, called Docket 32357 has been doing really well in film festivals around the country and so I have dutifully gone along to represent and help promote the film.
My castmate and I have done a lot of standing in front of step-and-repeats, walking slowly down red carpets smiling and mingled around press corrals, poised and ready to answer questions.
But usually, the journalists were not too interested… waiting instead to photograph and interview the “stars” of the festivals (usually the well-known actors in the opening and closing night feature films.)
I’m not complaining though! It’s been a fun ride and a great learning experience.
But it finally happened…the film won a big award last month, and I found myself at an event in Tribeca, set up just for us and our film! All of a sudden, people wanted to take our picture.
So we stood, and were photographed, alone, together, holding the statue alone, holding it as a group, with the event host, with the event sponsors, with other actors there from other films, with people whom I still have no idea who they were….flash, flash, flash…it was a photo frenzy.
I can’t say it was “fun” but because I am so proud of the film, I was happy to pose for as many pictures as they wanted.
But after the frenzy was over I had an unsettled feeling, that I really didn’t know what I was doing. Luckily the event host, an experienced filmmaker from LA, did know. He is more used to these kinds of photo frenzies, partly because his films have been doing well and partly because he is so darn photogenic that I imagine people always want to snap him.
I am Dead
No, that’s not actually true. I am not dead, I did not go method.
That would be make sense, when you’ve read The Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters – and for the month of September, you are in rehearsals for an adaptation, The Spoon River Project, in which you play five different characters with their own personal monologue and the show goes up in under three weeks. I might as well be dead, or captured by pirates on Lake Michigan like Roscoe Purkapile!
It’s a beautiful play: the deceased citizens of Spoon River monologue Edgar Lee Masters’ poems to the audience about their lives, tragedies and scandals, memories and deaths. It’s a small cast so we all play many different characters – a German immigrant, a soldier going off to war, the village poetess…For the last not-even three weeks, I’ve been in rehearsals for this production – learning my monologues, the songs, dance numbers and getting the chance to work one on one with the playwright all for this weekend’s performances at the local cemetery.
Artistic Diet and Exercise
Imagine an athlete who is training on a strict schedule to achieve a fitness goal. Hours of running, stretching, weights, drills. At the end of the day, the athlete collapses, barely taking the time to eat a few handfuls of chips or chug a soda before crashing into bed. The athlete is tired, weakened, depressed, and unmotivated. Because on this quest for greatness, the athlete forgot the key to complete success: supplementing the workouts with proper nutrition and rest. OKAY, you tell me, WHO WOULD DO THIS TO THEMSELVES?! Anyone training at that level knows they need to take care of their whole body.
I spent my summer performing as an ensemble member of a musical. It’s been a while since I’ve had an ensemble role, and it was an adjustment for me to step back into. Every day I dreaded going to rehearsal. I was frustrated by the quantity of work I was given, and by the low-level of expertise I needed to complete my task. I couldn’t get invested into the story of the show, and slowly started caring less and less about what happened onstage in scenes other than my own.
WHAT WAS HAPPENING? Had I lost my spark? Was I checking out because I thought I wasn’t important enough to the production? Most importantly to me, was my worth as a performer and a person suddenly equal to the size of role I was playing?!
No.
The Green Room 