The 10 people you meet in Los Angeles

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All of these are based on actual people I know and interact with daily. Names and details changed to protect the not-so-innocent. And yes, one of them is me.

1. The Screenwriter. He has a notebook he keeps with all 97 of his screenplay ideas. (It might be up to 98 by now.) He lives at Starbucks by day, and couch surfs by night. He is always asking you if you want to read these ideas and give him feedback. When you awkwardly mumble “maybe someday…” he energetically dives into the plot of his favorite story, which has something to do with comic book heroes entering an alternate reality.

2. The aspiring model/singer/actor. She is successful in the industry because of her keen networking skills, most of which are used in line at Whole Foods or browsing acting books at the library. Her friends are all aspiring artists as well. They can most often be found having ‘jam sessions’, writing screenplays at indie coffee shops, or smoking in parking lots at 2am.

3. The name dropper. This girl won’t let you forget that she was one of Miley Cyrus’ first babysitters. She has a heart of gold and a Louis Vuitton on her arm. She’d love to grab lunch with you at that vegan place in Culver City but she already made plans with her BFF, the Victoria’s Secret model.

4. The 20-something local. They grew up in a suburb of LA and could not care less that they live 3 miles away from the center of the world’s entertainment. Hobbies include repeatedly enrolling and dropping out of community college, working part time in retail, and attending Coachella.

5. The overachiever-who-wants-you-to-know-how-much-they’ve-achieved. Currently starring in a one-person play in Hollywood’s “theater district” while co-writing and co-producing a scripted drama for MTV. But before you ask “wow, how do you do so much?” – don’t worry– they will be dropping it all next month to tour the country with a blockbuster broadway show.

6. The former actor. She hasn’t figured out how to stop hustling as hard as she did when she was acting so she works one full time job and two part time jobs. Her dating life rivals Samantha’s on Sex and the City and and her instagram is mostly selfies.

7. The adopted sister/struggling actor. She is a transplant to LA from a small town and has left her family and friends behind to pursue her dreams. Everyone likes her because she creates family wherever she goes. Her struggle to be an actor often loses to her struggle to pay bills. Be warned, she will sleep on your couch at least once a week but in return she will be your encourager for life.

8. The future comedian. He or she is someone you want to be around all the time. They know how to make every situation funny, yet they aren’t attention whores. You secretly hope that you will recognize yourself in one of their comedy sketches when they finally make it on Saturday Night Live.

9. The parents with lots of money. You’ll babysit their kids when they attend the Grammys, you’ll entertain them with your stories about multiple roommates and your “adventurous” life as an actor, and you better believe you’ll enjoy racking up their bill ordering club sandwiches at the country club while their kids swim in a pool lined with lifeguards.

10. The musical theater actor. They have an apartment in LA with several roommates but spend at least half the year booked out on contracts. They work multiple part time jobs and are constantly quitting and getting rehired so they can leave for shows. Employers can’t hate them for leaving because they are always singing on the job and enjoying life when they are around to work. They constantly face questions like “so you are an actor but you don’t do film? Why live in LA if you do theater? Are you sure you haven’t done TV?  You look like that one girl on [fill in the blank]”.

Did I miss anyone?!