Parent Support

I had a conversation with my boyfriend about how supportive/unsupportive our parents are with choosing to pursue a career in theatre, and having that conversation and realizing we had a similar (yet still very different) point of view of how our parents feel about it, that maybe others have the same issues that we do.

Some parents have a difficulty accepting and supporting their child’s choice to do work within the theatre is it is a competitive field. Whether they fear of watching their child’s dream get crushed and want to protect them, or just that they can’t see it as a serious career path. Regardless, sometimes parents don’t react well to their children pursuing a theatrical career path, and may not realize the effects it has on their child(ren).

For him, his parents strongly dislike it when he gets cast in a show. They worry that it may take away from his day job, and that it may be too much of his plate. They are happy when he finishes a show, and worse have never seen him in anything that he has done. While they say they support his choices, they never actually do anything supportive, which has been really difficult for him. While he says he may talk to them about it one day, I simply reminded him that no matter what I’ll be here to support him from every audition prep to those final performances.

I was able to understand that, since my father has never seen anything I’ve done either. Although my dad has never officially verbalized his opinions on my choice to have a career in the theatre, his silence said it all. At first, he used to try to quickly change the subject, as if it was something he literally didn’t want to hear about or accept. In later years, whenever the conversation of a show I was working on had come up, he would ask me what the show was about, and then find a way to put it down. The last time it came up was the last time I saw him well over a year ago (which imply’s how that went). He simply disagreed with the message of the show, and called it “propaganda” and continued to say how my life’s work was garbage. That (along with other non-theatrical related issues he has with me) really led to straying away the relationship since having someone who puts down my life’s work so horribly is simply someone who isn’t worth being in my life.

My mom however, although she had a bit of trouble adjusting at first since she was afraid of it not working out, she’s now my biggest supporter. She ALWAYS sees any one of my shows that she can (even the one’s I tell her not to worry about seeing). She is my first financial backer for any show I produce (which I always give her credit on the program for it when she does). She’s even started writing plays and giving them to me to read for feedback and wants me to help her produce them when she feels they are ready! She always tells her friends and co-workers about how talented she thinks I am and how proud she is of me, and she really is one of my top supporters. When my father did say those awful things about me, it just so happened she was there, and yelled at him for trying to diminish the beautiful work I’ve done (especially without ever having an interest in seeing it). In short: my mom is awesome and I totally appreciate her being so supportive (especially since in some cases she’s the reason that I was able to get some of my shows up).

Sometimes parents are either your biggest supporters or the people to hold you back the most with your theatrical career. As someone who has experienced both sides of those extremes, I think there’s an important way to look at both situations. For supportive parents, be as grateful and as appreciative as you can, since not everyone has that sadly. For parents that aren’t at all supportive, sometimes they become more and more accepting as life goes on (and if they do, that’s a great start!), but if not just try to learn from their mistakes. I know that when I (hopefully) become a wife and mother one day, I will always tell my children that I don’t care who they are or what they want to do with their lives, that I’m happy if they are happy. I want to inspire my future children to be the best and happiest they could be, so more future generations (from my family line and others) can be raised in a positive way and encourage more creative minds for the future.