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Why did I sign up for this again…?

March 13, 2013

Sometimes we forget how lucky we are. My body is exhausted and overworked, my mind is stressed and anxious, and my emotions are a roller coaster due to so many changes, ever present around me. I’m overwhelmed with a whirlwind of responsibilities that come with my job and occasionally I feel like my company has an artistic monopoly over me since I am contractually bound to them for a year and unable to involve myself in any other work. Recently I have been injured and often too blasé to attend dance classes or the like. I’ve felt a bit too dispassionate and drained to seek out live performances or other inspiration. And most upsetting, I’ve been completely consumed with so many seemingly important things that I no longer find time to sing outside of work…not even in the shower or around the house!

Music has been a part of my life for as long as I remember. It’s a joy that no one can take away from me, something that can always lift my spirits, and fortunately for me, I have been able to make a career out of it. But I never want to become the type of person who wont sing unless someone is going paying them. Recently I came home after a particularly tolling week of shows, with a hoarse voice, a frail body, and a distracted mind. I was looking for nothing but some recuperation time and instead I opened the front door to my roommate and a friend sitting down at our piano, singing at the top of their lungs, completely immersed in blissful music.

Music books were scattered all over the table and I was met with gratuitous sighs that I was finally home so that we could all sing the trios they had been waiting to sing. They seemed so eager that I decided I would sing the few songs they requested to appease them and then go to bed. Three hours later I had sung through every music book the three of us had and was left with an elated mood that reminded me why I chose this career and that music is not only my source of income, but one of my very reasons for existing. I could not believe that I had lived here six months, surrounded by other singers, living with a roommate who can sight read piano like a god, and had never taken part in one of these cathartic musical jam sessions.

I’ve found it essential to my well-being to constantly remember why I chose this career and remind myself how lucky I am that I get to make a living doing something that brings such a sense of fulfillment and joy. What are some of your favorite parts of this career and how do you keep yourself working towards your goals during tough spells?

The Reckless Artist sig

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