Things I’ve Learned From Being Married To A Casting Director

Being married to a casting director has a lot of advantages when you’re an actor — although they may not be the ones that you think. So far, I don’t often land roles that he’s casting (which is fine!), but I have gained some invaluable perspective on the business from watching his struggles and successes at such a personal level.

There are a hundred things I could have added to this post, but I tried to limit my advice to things I haven’t heard other casting peeps write about a dozen times before (and keep it slightly humorous!). I hope you find it helpful!

• Don’t send nude photos at any time, for any reason. It will make you look like a nutcase, it won’t get you a job, and it might get you an enemy in the form of that casting assistant’s wife.

• Make sure you read audition notices carefully and research details you don’t understand. If you go to the wrong Ripley-Grier because you thought the address was a typo, and then proceed to get mad at the casting office about it, you just look like a n00b.

• Don’t send a Happy Passover card to someone who’s not Jewish. Nothing against Passover, but if this casting pro isn’t Jewish and has a very Irish-sounding name, you just look…odd.

• You know how casting directors always say cheesy things like, “we want actors to succeed in the room!”? Well, I know it might sound far-fetched sometimes, but those cheesy lines are usually true. Casting directors are often juggling many expectations and are, above all, trying to please their employer, the producer/director. When you come in and knock it out of the park, the casting director looks goooooood.

• Don’t ever be bitchy to your audition monitor, even if you are annoyed because the audition is running late. You never know when that audition monitor girl might be married to the casting director. And I promise you that when you berate her, it does nothing good for your chances of landing the role.

• Sincere thank-yous, both in person and in follow-up form, are almost always remembered and appreciated by whomever is receiving them.

• Have I emphasized that you *have* to do your research before the audition? If you walk into the room and that’s the first moment you realize that you went to college with the casting director, you aren’t prepared enough.

• Just because you’re not right for this role, does not mean that you didn’t do seriously bangin’ job at your audition. Sometimes, people just don’t fit the project for reasons beyond their control. But if you do great work, you will get remembered and it will pay off.