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Letting Go and Tuning In

December 20, 2011

I must admit that I balked at the questions posed in this blog series.  I have spent exponentially LESS time in my 30’s self-reflecting like this, than I did in my 20’s when I filled journal after journal in the quest to discover myself.  Now, in my 30’s, it seems not only so much less interesting to examine my life, but also so time-consuming.  Frankly, I’d rather listen to a good BBC radio drama at night than write in a fabric-covered diary.  And I’ve come to the realization that I, like most people, are just doing the best we can, with what we have, and living life the way we think it should be lived from our own perspectives.  It’s a good zen-like realization to make, and makes me much less annoyed with loud teenagers on the subway and tourist who walk slowly.

But still, as this is a career-orientated blog, it seems very important to reflect and goal-set for my career.  I know all the statistics that prove goal setting really does work … so arm slightly twisted, but in a way that I know is for my own good (thank you Redheaded Actress….!) I reflect:

What am I most proud of? 

Starting to be able to let go… of both the highs and lows.

I am writing this after a week of a big high (my national commercial started airing) and big lows (a HUGE callback was cancelled at the last-minute, and a grant proposal was rejected.)  Though I definitely felt something about each of these events, I have worked hard this past year to not let either—the good or the bad events—influence my overall state of being. This isn’t easy, I’ll admit, and I haven’t perfected the concept, but I try to keep in mind that everything passes… both the extreme highs of excitement and the way-down lows of disappointment. This year I have worked hard to stay content through the whole roller-coaster ride.  I’m lucky to have a ticket to be onboard.

What was my greatest challenge?

Learning to lead.

I produced and performed in a small children’s theatre tour this past spring. It was a very rewarding and fun experience on many fronts. But being the “boss” of 3 other actors and a stage manager was a challenge, and one that I think I failed in many aspects.  However, I thank my 4 temporary employees for having the faith in me and in the project to push through and deliver excellent performances when the time came.  My list on how to be a better leader is now long and varied, with everything from “make sure call times are given in at least three different mediums: email, voice and public posting” to “learn what kind of validation each individual really needs and give that” to “pay for their beer now and then.”

In 2012 what do I most want to accomplish? 

Ah, this one is less ephemeral.   I want to write, produce and perform a radio drama this year.  This is the start of a longer-term goal to bring good radio drama back to this country.

What have I learned from this year that will help me on my path?

Again, these skills are quite concrete:  how to write a successful grant application; how to work through unions (or not, depending..)  to hire great performers and crew; how to manage people on a creative project; how to follow a budget; and, to give me some personal leeway to work on this, I’ve learned that acting in commercials is awesome and fun….!  Next on my list is a radio drama writing course, which I’m starting in January. Stay tuned!

Happy, successful and peaceful New Year to you all!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. The Reflective Artist permalink
    December 20, 2011 8:57 am

    Like the Red Headed Actress, I want to put in a request to be involved in your goal project for 2012–though I would like to submit specifically for a position as a Foley artist. In all seriousness, though, radio dramas are stupendous (I listen to a lot of BBC myself) and I’m excited to know someone who is invested in promoting that kind of work in this country. So wonderful!

    It sounds like you accomplished a lot this year, and are geared up for 2012 accordingly. I’m excited to continue to follow you on your journey, through the highs and lows. I think you’ll be stellar. 🙂

  2. December 20, 2011 11:42 am

    Glad to have given you a reflection and goal-setting nudge, if a little irritating 😉

  3. December 20, 2011 8:18 pm

    You got this. 🙂 Can’t wait to see how this comes along!

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